(You came in like a Wreaking Ball - You wreak me. You've became more Bolder, Braver)
Its a saturday. A non working day for me. You are not schooling too. Yesterday night arguement is still fresh inside me. It still hurt me seeing you behaving like as if our relationship does not means anything to you. It is very very hurtful for me especially seeing you behaving so strangely for the past 1 week. Coming back late from school. Going out on ur own, never answer my phone calls, hardly reply my msg's. All these arouse my suspicious that something is definitely going on.
We both woke up slightly late today. As usual, we clean up, wash up and do some house chores. It was still awkward between us actually as the previous night arguement is still fresh. Bjt we still try to talk nicely as we want to avoid arguements with esch other. Especially me, i dont wanna drag those hurting anymore. I juz wanna see you behaving as per normal as how we used to be.
At around noon while we are relaxing, Thuy ask me to accompany her to somerset tomorrow which is a sunday (14/09/14) because she got a Modelling Interview. Grabbing this chance to go out together with you, i immediately agree to follow her. Then i asked you to go along too. Then suddenly u told me dat tomorrow, u are going out. I asked where are u going to? But u refused to tell me anything. I was quite surprise because all these while, you have never kept any secrets from me.
No matter what you do, where you go, You will always tell me and will update me whatever details that i need to know. Infact most of the time, wherever we go, we will always go together. We were kind of inseperable as if there is me, there are sure to be you and vice versa. Whatever errands u got to run, you will always ask me along. And same goes for me. Otherwise you will juz stay at home and play your game. You will never go anywhere without me. Let alone to go out anywhere alone. You've never done that.
But then suddenly now u says u need to go out. Then wen i ask to accompany, u firmly says no and u are going out alone. I became very suspicious & agitated because this was so unlike you. You've never go out on ur own. Let alone on a weekend. As normally weekend we will go out together on a date, dinner or movies. Now suddenly u say you wanna go out. I then threatened to follow you wherever u are going if you dont tell me where you are heading to and who are u meeting. I kept pestering you again & agsin to tell me where exactly you are going.
Then finally you told me dat u are meeting up a friend for a while. The meet up wont be long it will be less then an hour excluding the journey to and fro. I kept asking where u are meeting him? But you die die wont tell me where the location is and u warned me not to follow u or you will become angry with me & threatened me with a big quarell if i ever follow u.
I became suspicious. I asked who are u meeting and for what is the meeting about. And what is so urgent about it that you really have to go to meet him as since we alrd had a date fixed to go out to town together the next day. U den juz say dat u are going to meet up a friend. A new friend u juz make via Faceboom & u wont be meeting him for long. And u assure me dat it was just a casual normal meet up. There is no fun & no sex involved. I ask if you can postpone the meet up, to other days instead? As we alrd had a plan. But u says u cant postpone it as ur new friend are moving back to china on Monday & u are meeting him to juz bid him good bye. After that u will talk awhile and you will straight away go to somerset to meet me as promised on time. At 2.30pm
I really cant bear to let u go as seriously i dont trust you & i dont trust that guy. Why?
《David Parker Story》
Because you've cheated me not once, not twice but three time, and dat is those that im aware of. If there is any that im not aware off, then i dont know how many times more have u cheated on me. There is even a serious instance where u betrayed me to the extend of Chatting with a guy named "David Parker" on 'Guy Spy' gay apps while im at work. (We both clearly forbid one another from using any gays apps.) You then exchange contact number with him and continue chatting on 'Wechat'. I believe those chats were flirtatious and contain flirting & arousal chats. God knows, maybe naked pics are even traded or maybe even Cam Sex Chat has already happened. But all along, i was not aware of all these as u behave normally when im around. Nothing indicate your cheating. i did not suspect anything at all because maybe u are very careful when im around. Maybe you have deleted all chats before i return from home. Then one unknown day, while im at work as usual, you invite him over. Clearly with the intention for Fun & Sex. (After further questioning, i found out it is for Oral Sex) you did have the intention for sex and u ask him to fuck your Anal. But on that day he dont want to do any Anal Sex but instead juz want you to suck his dick. So there u were sucking his dick at our Home dat we both lived in, in our room dat we both share together & worse of it all On our bed that we make love at & sleep at. In a room with walls full of our pictures travelling together, our happy moment. And all those can still happened. Dont u feel anything doing such thing while having my pictures all over the room. Doesnt my pic reminds u that u have a BF and u are in a relationship. But i guess ur lust is too huge that u dont care. If that itself can happen, at our own house, room & bed.
How can i ever trust you to not do anything with whoever you are meeting with. And worse, u are meeting him outside and God knows if u are even going to his house to have fun or maybe hotels or even doing in public. No doubt u did say that it is just for a short while. And the meet up is juz a casual clean meet up between 2 friends. But who knows? How am i supposed to know if what u say is true or not?
Last time i used to say, that i dont trust others petople as they will hurt u or take advantage of u. But now, after so many painful lessons from you, i start to realize that it was you who i should be wary off. It was you who i shouldnt trust. Maybe there are others who are not seeking for fun. But god knows its u who initiate it first by asking for dick pic, flirting & asking sexual arousal questions. And furthermore, as u mentioned u juz meet him for 1 hour and u will go off after that, Juz FYI, (Alot of things can happen even in a short period of time. If In this case which is 1 hour, a whole full set of Sex Sessions inclusive of Oral, Foreplay, Penetration with all different styles can easily happen and even have extra time for shower too)
I really dun want to let you go. As i am afraid u will cheat & betray me again. Im afraid u will succumb to temptations and had sex with the guy. And what im most afraid of is that u will develope personal feelings for that person and start to fall for him. And then u will leave me for him. I cant let that happened. I have sacrifies & invested so many things into this relationship. I cant let any tom, dick or harry to juz snatch you away from me so easily. I have to fight for my rights. Regardless of weather u still love me or not. I will juz leave it to hope and fate. Hooefully one day seeing how sincere my love is for u, u will change.
Back to your meeting; this time, u die die insist on going and u say i can never stop you. Be it i like it or not, you will still go to meet him. You even threaten me with a huge quarells if i ever followed you. I have no choice. I cant stop u. So im forced to juz agree and let you go. Because even if i forbade u, u will still go. As you've shown the sign of rebellious & sturboness this few days.
I was really hurt at that point of time. U have seems to become more & more bolder and braver dis days. U didnt even care about my feelings anymore. You disregards my position as your bf and u never think about how i feel at that time. U dare to arrange for a meet up with a random guy. First u start to chat with random, then u stop me totally from checking your phone. U wont allow me to even touch your phone, then you start to download all the gay apps & chat with those fun seekers. U even exchange numbers. Then u start coming back late, never ans my calls, never reply my msg's nkw u became more bolder by arranging to meet up. First is Eugene (I assume), now is this guy.
Whatsoever am not letting this off so easily. I cannot let myself be in the dark. Since you've become so secretive with everything, i decided to do it my own way. So secretly i make a plan & remind myself dat i try to follow u secretly tomorrow and find out wat exactly are u up to? I want to know who is this damn guy? What is so good & special about him untill u became so rebellious towards me & refuse to listen to me at all. I am so determine to find that out by hook or by crook...
(T.B.C)
Labels: bolder, braver, breakup, cheating, dkssapointment, eatpraylove, hearbreak, infidelity, isuues, trust, unfaithful
