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Monday, October 25, 2010

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.



SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'



MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily.



SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'



MUM: 'If you must know, I make $20 an hour.'



SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.



SON: "Mummy, may I please borrow $5?"



The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'



The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.. The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $5 and he really didn't ask for money very often.



The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' She asked. 'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy. 'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $5 you asked for.'



The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.



'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled. 'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. 'Mummy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'



The mother was crushed. She put her arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.



For the kids at Jamiyah Children's Home .. they have never gOnna be a chaNce like this .....



But they surely have you ... it's the time and attentiOn - thAnkQ fOr GIVING the GIFT of LOVE ......

my say at 10/25/2010 08:05:00 PM.
Sunday, October 17, 2010




I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that it's not what you have in your live, but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes, after that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I've learned that it's not what happens to people, it's what they do about it. I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you'll see them. I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned that there are people, who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance same goes for true love.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgive by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life. I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, As well as talking, Can ease emotional pains. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. I've learned to love and be loved. I've learned.



my say at 10/17/2010 02:47:00 PM.

If you’ve ever been betrayed or severely disappointed by someone you love, you know how difficult it can be to trust again.  Whether you were let down by a friend, spouse, lover, or even a parent, this can negatively impact future relationships.

Living with suspicion of people’s motives or refusing to trust anyone is nothing more than a defense mechanism.  And why do we use defense mechanisms?  To protect ourselves from that which we fear.  That’s right; fear is the ruling factor beneath the unwillingness or inability to trust others.

These 7 tips are for anyone with a desire to trust again.

1) Give yourself time to heal
It’s nearly impossible to heal without becoming consciously aware of exactly what you are feeling.  Is it sadness, guilt, anger, disappointment, depression, loneliness or fear? Chances are it is an ugly combination of these emotions.  Allow yourself to fully acknowledge each feeling.

2) Link actions and emotions
After acknowledging what you feel, consider the actions that “made” you feel that way.  Write down the actions taken by your beloved that are (seemingly) making it hard for you to trust again.  Did your mate have an affair?  Did a family member steal from you? Did a friend tell your darkest secret to others?  Did a loved one call you ugly names, deny you to their friends, or physically harm you? Did a parent let you down?  Writing these specific actions won’t feel good, but it is necessary in order to face and move past the pain.

For each action that you write, notice the emotions that you feel.  In most cases, thoughts about one action trigger several emotions. Write each feeling next to the action.  If you feel powerless, frustrated, and ashamed when thinking of your mate’s affair, write it down.

If you feel enraged, disappointed, and hurt by your best friend’s lies, write it down.

Note: It is important NOT to take a break from this process during this step.

3) Discover the thought triggers
After acknowledging your feelings in regards to the actions taken by someone you trusted, the next step is to discover the underlying thoughts.  Every single emotion is triggered by thought.  And our thoughts are the one thing that we can always control.
Using the information from step 2, write what you thought about each action.  If your parent was not there for you when you needed him/her, what do you think about that?

Some thoughts may be:
My father never really loved me, what kind of parent does this anyway, so many people had great childhoods but look what I got, why me, my mother should have stood up for me, I was never the favorite, If only I was smart like my brother, she would (or would not) have done this if she really cared.

In the case of betrayal by a lover, you may think:
She lied and I was stupid enough to believe her, he must have never really loved me, why do I always get treated this way, I wonder if it’s because I’m not as pretty as she is, her new guy is much more successful than I am, I wasted __ years of my life for nothing, I bet she even slept with him in our home, he is a heartless scumbag, I should have listened to my friends

It is important to fully process the thoughts that have left you filled with negative feelings about a situation.  You can use the form, when  did I thought  and I felt  .

When the list is done, realize that it is your thoughts about the actions that trigger your feelings.  It is not the actions themselves.  This will help you to realize that you are 100% empowered to change how you feel.  No, it doesn’t mean that what the other person did was okay.  No, total recovery from the hurt won’t be immediate.  But doesn’t it feel better to know that you, and only you, are in control of your happiness?

4. Replace blame with understanding
With the first 3 steps, you’ve had more than enough time to own your feelings. You’ve tied each action to a feeling, and each feeling to trigger thoughts.  Now, it’s time to move on.

Instead of blaming the other person for your feelings, do the only responsible and healing thing that you can do. Accept full responsibility for your actions and feelings.  This doesn’t mean that anything is your fault, but there is also no benefit for you in laying fault on the other person.  They have complete responsibility for their actions and feelings, just as you do.

Remember this: Whatever action a person takes has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.  If the person called you horrible names, they obviously have a lot of negative thoughts.  Maybe they are so insecure that they need to belittle others—and you just happened to get caught in the crossfire.  If they had secret affairs, it could be because validation from others calmed their feelings of inadequacy.

You don’t need to completely understand why others say or do things that you dislike, just make sure you understand that it is not really about you.

5. The art of forgiveness
Once you have achieved some degree of understanding, forgive the person who betrayed your trust.  This does not mean taking the betrayer back into your life; it just means not holding a grudge in your heart.

Like you and I, she or he is a work in progress.  We all make mistakes and we can move on without being forgiven.  However, we can’t move on without forgiving.  In other words, your refusal to forgive does not hinder the other person, but it does thwart your healing.

6. Embracing the life lessons
Every trial or difficulty has a lesson within it that can enhance your life.  Some lessons are clearer than others, but they are always there.  Figure out how the relationship (and its ending) contributed to your personal development.  Did you become a much stronger person?  Did you learn a lesson about listening to your gut instincts when meeting someone?

Nothing changes the fact that we ALL experience undesirable circumstances in our lives.  However, your success depends upon what you take from each challenge. Remember to pause and listen in the stillness of the aftermath so that you never miss the lesson being taught.

7. Moving on
Life goes on, right?  But how will you think or feel differently moving forward?  You have choices.
You can concentrate on the betrayal that may have ended, or drastically changed, a relationship.  You can walk around with a chip on your shoulder, unwilling to accept that your thoughts are the cause of your prolonged misery.  You can hold grudges against others for their mistakes and even repress feelings about your own mistakes.

Alternatively, you can appreciate yourself for having the courage to forgive.  You can be thankful for the strength of character that you’ve built as a result of hardship.  You can replace your negative thoughts with thoughts of understanding.  You can appreciate the past for the contribution to your growth.  You can love the good and the bad for the good in it all.  You can let go, love fearlessly, and trust in the perfection of this great Universe.

All of these are choices that determine how you will experience life.  And the person doing the choosing is none other than you.

Will you stunt your own growth or reopen your heart?

my say at 10/17/2010 02:24:00 PM.
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Name: Ryan'iel Hiroshi
Known As: Ryan'iel, Ryan or Afad
Day I first cried: 1st August 1982
Race: Mixed Portuguese, Malay and Hispanic
Faith: Islam
Status: Single (And available, Ready to mingle)
Profession: Asst Tower Manager (MBS)
Scene: Alternative
Style: Modern Trendy
Height: 1.68
Weight: 65kg
Complexion: Fair Complexion
Hairstyle: Trendy short, Colourful
Eyes: Black
Tattoos: Lots of it
Piercing: Both earlobes
Smoking Habit: Occasionally
Drinking Habit: Occasionally
Best Attributes: Smile, Humour & Intelligence
Hobbies: Cycling, Swimming, Jogging, Tanning, Shopping, Reading, Travelling and surfing the net.


Flamboyant, Down to earth, Clean freak, Cool, Funny, Extroverted, Friendly, Romantic, Loving, Passionate, Honest and Generous

Dat's how I extend myself 2 the world with the same basic expectations of others who wish 2 return the same courtesy.

Dat said, I pride myself in being more proactive & rational in understanding all the different charms and cultures. Never been satisfied with my own perspectives, I am usually a keen learner of different ideas - approaching them with respect, tact & an open mind.

Conflicts are usually handled objectively with diplomatic end in mind. Don't be put off by my eloquence & flamboyant character as it usually rewards more than it punish. I am comfortable in being affectionate & I am not afraid 2 show others that I care. A few kind words, a reassuring hug & compliments to go along are few ways to let my compassion show.

While I am a high maintenance guy with my vanity obsession, I have come 2 acquire a new level of appreciation 4 a no-fuss, low-drama approach with minimum “Boo-hoos” & maximum “Oh-yeah”. I may exude catlike playfulness & being mischievous at times, there lies a sentimental intellectual beneath the mild demeanour.

I don't believe in intellectual superiority though, only dormant potential in every person. Hence, there is no room for arrogance, segmented respect or condescending attitude.

My Biggest lesson in love is to “Forgive and forgo the loser.”
My Biggest lesson in life is to “Live life to the fullest and having No regrets.”
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