Sigh!! Sigh!! Why must it be me who always gets hurt? Why must it be me who have to go through the pain of dissapointment again and again and again. What have i done wrong till i deserve to be treated this way? Where exactly does the mistake lies? Is it due to me being too possessive towards my friends? Or is it because of my sheer stupidity of believing and trusting others easily? The reason i'm being posessive towards my friends is because i want to protect them from any harm that is coming their way. Is it wrong of me being protective towards my friends? As for believing and trusting others, i guess there's nothing wrong in doing that. Isn't friendship is all about trust?.. Oh Gosh! Whatever it is, no one deserve to be treated this way.. "NO ONE"...

I know that i've been reminded time and again on not to believe and trust others easily. And i knew dat i've been constantly reminded on not to commit myself whole heartedly into anything that got to do with feelings. But i'm a human too. I have feelings, I have heart and i have all the right to befriend or love anyone that i like. I am also like everyone else who needs companionship in life. No one really knows how lonely i am and how much this loneliness is killing me. People can only judge my outer personality which are full of laughter.. But deep inside, no one can ever imagine how i felt. How my heart cry, how sad and lonely i am... Sigh!

Is it wrong of me to find someone who can share my sorrow and happiness together with me? I've never asked for anything in return, nor did i ever asked to be rewarded for my kindness. The only thing that i was hoping for is to share everything that i have with others. To see the "Friendship" grow and flourish into something meaningful. A pure and sincere friendship, someone whom can lend me a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and who will always be there for me during my up's and down's.. Thats all that i ever ask for..

At times i don't know how to express my heartfelt. But at the same time, i also couldn't ignore this terrible feelings inside me. It is so painful  that it makes my heart breaks whenever i see other people being happy with their companion.. It is painful to be me. A loner who is god damn lonely...

Well! Whatever it is, the only reason that keeps me going and moving on in life despite being lonely is a thing called "HOPE".. May one day, i can lead a normal life like everyone else, and hopefully one day, a perfect person with a perfect soul will come by into my life and guide me out of this darkness.. God.. Please answer my prayers and please bless me god....

Signing Off
Ryan'iel Bae

Profile

Name: Ryan'iel Hiroshi
Known As: Ryan'iel, Ryan or Afad
Day I first cried: 1st August 1982
Race: Mixed Portuguese, Malay and Hispanic
Faith: Islam
Status: Single (And available, Ready to mingle)
Profession: Asst Tower Manager (MBS)
Scene: Alternative
Style: Modern Trendy
Height: 1.68
Weight: 65kg
Complexion: Fair Complexion
Hairstyle: Trendy short, Colourful
Eyes: Black
Tattoos: Lots of it
Piercing: Both earlobes
Smoking Habit: Occasionally
Drinking Habit: Occasionally
Best Attributes: Smile, Humour & Intelligence
Hobbies: Cycling, Swimming, Jogging, Tanning, Shopping, Reading, Travelling and surfing the net.


Flamboyant, Down to earth, Clean freak, Cool, Funny, Extroverted, Friendly, Romantic, Loving, Passionate, Honest and Generous

Dat's how I extend myself 2 the world with the same basic expectations of others who wish 2 return the same courtesy.

Dat said, I pride myself in being more proactive & rational in understanding all the different charms and cultures. Never been satisfied with my own perspectives, I am usually a keen learner of different ideas - approaching them with respect, tact & an open mind.

Conflicts are usually handled objectively with diplomatic end in mind. Don't be put off by my eloquence & flamboyant character as it usually rewards more than it punish. I am comfortable in being affectionate & I am not afraid 2 show others that I care. A few kind words, a reassuring hug & compliments to go along are few ways to let my compassion show.

While I am a high maintenance guy with my vanity obsession, I have come 2 acquire a new level of appreciation 4 a no-fuss, low-drama approach with minimum “Boo-hoos” & maximum “Oh-yeah”. I may exude catlike playfulness & being mischievous at times, there lies a sentimental intellectual beneath the mild demeanour.

I don't believe in intellectual superiority though, only dormant potential in every person. Hence, there is no room for arrogance, segmented respect or condescending attitude.

My Biggest lesson in love is to “Forgive and forgo the loser.”
My Biggest lesson in life is to “Live life to the fullest and having No regrets.”

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